Category: suffering

Good Friday

On By Renee Yann, RSMIn Cross, Discipleship, dying, Gospel, Jesus, Poetry, spirituality, sufferingLeave a comment

April 18, 2025

Chopin: Nocturn in C Sharp Minor, played by Hauser. (Listen to it all – lovely.)

Calvary was a glass box where God,
confined, no longer touched the world.
It was a white plain, without sound,
not the groaning, blood-soaked hill
the scriptures leave us.

I know.
Calvary hewed itself inside me once
with the chisel of a long sorrow
that fell, persistent, merciless
like cold, steel rain.

It was a place bereft of feeling.
Only the anticipation and
the memory of pain are feelings.
Pain itself is a huge abyss,
bled by a silence that mimics death,
but is not as absolutely kind.

Calvary is the place where
all strength is given
to the drawing of a breath
to linger in it unfulfilled.

God, now I go quietly inside
where you are dying in a glass box, still.
I release all definitions
to pass through and companion you.
I watch the rain, itself like glass,
crashing to an unknown life 
beneath the earth. Where love roots
absolute, unbreakable, I cling to you
in a transparent act of will.           

Agios O Theos
Agios Ischyros
Agios Athanatos
Eleison Imas

Holy God
Holy Strong One
Holy Deathless One
Have Mercy On Us

For Your Reflection

  • What feelings or reactions do I have after reading this reflection?
  • Do my feelings or reactions remind me of any passage or event in scripture, especially in the life of Christ? 
  • What actions might I take today because of my response to these readings?

Suggested Scripture: Luke 23: 44-49

Scripture

Faithfulness

On By Renee Yann, RSMIn Charity, Discipleship, Eternal Life, Faith, Gospel, Jesus, Mercy, Service, spirituality, sufferingLeave a comment

Wednesday of the Thirty-fourth Week in Ordinary Time
November 27, 2024

Today’s Readings:

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/112724.cfm

Remain faithful until death,
and I will give you the crown of life.

Revelation 2:10

.In Luke 21, Jesus exhorts his disciples to remain faithful. Then he describes how fraught with difficulties that faithfulness will be: denouncement, imprisonment, false judgment, disavowal by family and friends, hatred, and even death. What is so terrifying about the Gospel that it evokes these responses in its enemies? What is so powerful about the Gospel that it will sustain its believers even through such trials?

Today, in God’s Lavish Mercy:
I ask myself, “Have I ever really suffered anything for the sake of the Gospel”? What would that suffering look like? Would it not be setting aside my selfishness for the sake of the neighbor – even the unloved neighbor? If we dare to do that, we will surely suffer.

Prose: from Walter Bruggemann in “God’s Neighborly Economy”

“Who is my neighbor?” (Luke 10:29)

The Bible is unflinching and unambiguous in its identification of the neighbor: widow, orphan, immigrant, the poor, lepers, the blind, deaf, lame … all those without viable resources or reliable advocacy.

Music: Take All the Lost Home – Joe Wise

Wept

On By Renee Yann, RSMIn Cross, dying, Eternal Life, Faith, Jesus, peace, spirituality, suffering3 Comments

Memorial of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary
November 21, 2024

Today’s Readings:

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/112124.cfm

As Jesus drew near Jerusalem,
he saw the city and wept over it, saying,
“If this day you only knew what makes for peace–
but now it is hidden from your eyes.
Luke 19:41-42

When we think of Jesus’s suffering, we often think only of his Passion and Death. But, like us, Jesus suffered in many ways throughout his life. Certainly, he suffered misunderstanding, hatred, marginalization, and rejection. In today’s reading, Jesus suffers heartbreak. The ones for whom He took flesh have failed to understand the peace he offers.

Today, in God’s Lavish Mercy:
We pray to understand that the Spirit of God runs in an infinite current through all of life, calling every dimension to deep union with Divinity. This union is achieved by living as Jesus lived in peace, love, obedience, justice, mercy, and joy. Until we can let the rest go, I think Jesus still weeps.

Poetry: Jesus Weeps by Malcolm Guite

Jesus comes near and he beholds the city
And looks on us with tears in his eyes,
And wells of mercy, streams of love and pity
Flow from the fountain whence all things arise.
He loved us into life and longs to gather
And meet with his beloved face to face
How often has he called, a careful mother,
And wept for our refusals of his grace,
Wept for a world that, weary with its weeping,
Benumbed and stumbling, turns the other way,
Fatigued compassion is already sleeping
Whilst her worst nightmares stalk the light of day.
But we might waken yet, and face those fears,
If we could see ourselves through Jesus’ tears.

Music: Pie Jesu – Gabriel Fauré
The Pie Jesu is the centerpiece of Fauré’s Requiem, which he completed in 1890. Many consider it his greatest composition.

Rejoice

On By Renee Yann, RSMIn Discipleship, holiness, joy, Praise, spirituality, suffering, TruthLeave a comment

Wednesday of the Thirty-first Week in Ordinary Time
November 6, 2024

Today’s Readings:

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/110624.cfm

Do everything without grumbling or questioning,
that you may be blameless and innocent,
children of God without blemish
in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation,
among whom you shine like lights in the world,
as you hold on to the word of life,
so that my boast for the day of Christ may be
that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.
But, even if I am poured out as a libation
upon the sacrificial service of your faith,
I rejoice and share my joy with all of you.
In the same way you also should rejoice and share your joy with me.
Philippians 2:15-18

Being a Christian is not easy. It was not easy for the Philippians, and it’s not easy for us. We still live in the midst of a “crooked and perverse generation.” And its crooked perversity is not always easy to discern as the culture becomes more clever in deceitful jargon and technological manipulation.

Today, in God’s Lavish Mercy:
We pray to have a clear vision that sees into the heart of life in God. Despite challenges, Paul rejoices in this insightful faith of the Philippians and invites them to rejoice as well. Let’s consider our own faith journey and those aspects of it that cause us to rejoice:

  • God’s faithfulness and our perseverance
  • what we have given for love, and what we have received in return
  • the freedom faith has granted us, and the freedom we have fostered in others
  • the contentment of a long fidelity, and the assured hope of a promised eternity

Poetry: Mindful by Mary Oliver

Every day
I see or hear
something
that more or less

kills me
with delight,
that leaves me
like a needle

in the haystack
of light.

Music: Bach’s Jesu, Joy of Our Desiring – arranged by D. Qualey

Infinity

On By Renee Yann, RSMIn Church, dying, Eternal Life, Faith, holiness, spirituality, suffering1 Comment

The Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed
November 2, 2024

Today’s Readings:

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/110224.cfm

In the time of their visitation they shall shine,
    and shall dart about as sparks through stubble;
they shall judge nations and rule over peoples,
    and the Lord shall be their King forever.
Those who trust in God shall understand truth,
    and the faithful shall abide with God in love:
because grace and mercy are with God’s holy ones,
    whose care embraces the Elect.
Wisdom 3:7-9

All Souls Day is a glorious feast, and yet it is threaded with a tinge of sadness. We remember those we have loved and lost into the incomprehensible dimensions of eternity, into an infinty of Love.

The gifted Wisdom writer consoles us with the verse we are all so familiar with from many funerals:

The souls of the just
are in the hand of God,
and no torment shall touch them.

Wisdom 3:1

Today, in God’s Lavish Mercy:
We place our trust in God’s promise to hold our beloveds in tenderness until we see them again.

Poetry: from John O’Donohue

Though we need to weep your loss,
You dwell in that safe place in our hearts,
Where no storm or might or pain can reach you.

Your love was like the dawn
Brightening over our lives
Awakening beneath the dark
A further adventure of colour.

The sound of your voice
Found for us
A new music
That brightened everything.

Whatever you enfolded in your gaze
Quickened in the joy of its being;
You placed smiles like flowers
On the altar of the heart.
Your mind always sparkled
With wonder at things.

Though your days here were brief,
Your spirit was live, awake, complete.

We look towards each other no longer
From the old distance of our names;
Now you dwell inside the rhythm of breath,
As close to us as we are to ourselves.

Though we cannot see you with outward eyes,
We know our soul’s gaze is upon your face,
Smiling back at us from within everything
To which we bring our best refinement.

Let us not look for you only in memory,
Where we would grow lonely without you.
You would want us to find you in presence,
Beside us when beauty brightens,
When kindness glows
And music echoes eternal tones.

When orchids brighten the earth,
Darkest winter has turned to spring;
May this dark grief flower with hope
In every heart that loves you.

May you continue to inspire us:
To enter each day with a generous heart.
To serve the call of courage and love
Until we see your beautiful face again
In that land where there is no more separation,
Where all tears will be wiped from our mind,
And where we will never lose you again.

Music: Spirit Touch – Joseph Akins

Cup

On By Renee Yann, RSMIn Cross, Discipleship, Gospel, Jesus, spirituality, sufferingLeave a comment

Twenty-ninth Sunday in Ordinary Time
October 20, 2024

Today’s Readings:

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/102024.cfm

James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Jesus and said to him,
“Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.” 
He replied, “What do you wish me to do for you?” 
They answered him, “Grant that in your glory
we may sit one at your right and the other at your left.” 
Jesus said to them, “You do not know what you are asking. 
Can you drink the cup that I drink
or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?” 
They said to him, “We can.” 
Jesus said to them, “The cup that I drink, you will drink,
and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized –
Mark 10:35-39

In this familiar passage, Jesus calls James and John to a new level of discipleship. They may not have fully realized the implications of their enthusuastic request. Jesus makes it clear: there is no easy road to glory but he will accompany us throughout the journey.

Today, in God’s Lavish Mercy:
We ponder what God may be requiring of us to go deeper into our spiritual life. We are already spiritual people, but are there small things, unnoticed things, that would bring us more into alignment with the Gospel? Or, perhaps, are there big things that we must face and change in order to be true disciples?

Poetry: Hymn – Micah Mattis

“Great is thy faithfulness,” 
Say the leaves to the light. 
“Oh God, my father,” 
Says darkness to night. 

“There is no shadow,” 
Says the eye to the sun. 
“Of turning with thee,” 
As tears start to burn. 

“All I have needed,” 
Says the sand to the storm. 
“Thy hand has provided,” 
Say the combs to the swarm. 

“Great is thy faithfulness,” 
Says the cup to the brim. 
“Lord unto me,” 
Say I to him.

Music: Great Is Thy Faithfulness – Thomas Chisholm and William Runyan

Truth

On By Renee Yann, RSMIn Courage, Discipleship, dying, Eternal Life, Faith, spirituality, suffering, TruthLeave a comment

Memorial of Saints John de Brébeuf and Isaac Jogues, Priests, and Companions, Martyrs
October 19, 2024

Today’s Readings:

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/101924.cfm

Hearing of your faith in the Lord Jesus
and of your love for all the holy ones,
I do not cease giving thanks for you,
remembering you in my prayers,
that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory,
may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation
resulting in knowledge of him.
May the eyes of your hearts be enlightened,
that you may know what is the hope that belongs to his call,
what are the riches of glory
in his inheritance among the holy ones,
and what is the surpassing greatness of his power
for us who believe’
Ephesians 1:15-19

Paul’s grateful acknowledgement of the Ephesians could very well be bestowed on the North American martyrs whose lives we commemorate today. Their love of Jesus and the Gospel was unquencable even unto death. To read their stories, click this link:

Who are the North American Martyrs?

Poetry: Today’s Responsorial Psalm

The Spirit of truth will testify to me, says the Lord,
and you also will testify.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Music: Iroquois Dream Song

Creation

On By Renee Yann, RSMIn Creation, Eternal Life, Faith, holiness, Mercy, spirituality, suffering1 Comment

Memorial of Saint Francis of Assisi
October 4, 2024

Today’s Readings:

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/100424.cfm

The LORD addressed Job out of the storm and said:

Have you ever in your lifetime commanded the morning
and shown the dawn its place
For taking hold of the ends of the earth,
till the wicked are shaken from its surface?
The earth is changed as is clay by the seal,
and dyed as though it were a garment;
But from the wicked the light is withheld,
and the arm of pride is shattered.
Job 38:1, 12-15

The character of this passage from Job fits so perfectly the spirituality of Francis of Assisi whom we honor today. Francis had a deep veneration for all Creation where he saw God’s beauty and vitality. Francis’s heart anguished for those unable to share in that beauty because of the burden of poverty.

Today, in God’s Lavish Mercy:
May we be inspired by Francis’s example, and Job’s honesty to develop a generous and reverent sharing of Creation’s gifts.

Poetry: Saint Francis and the Sow – Galway Kinnel

The bud
stands for all things,
even for those things that don’t flower,
for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;
though sometimes it is necessary
to reteach a thing its loveliness,
to put a hand on its brow
of the flower
and retell it in words and in touch
it is lovely
until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing;
as Saint Francis
put his hand on the creased forehead
of the sow, and told her in words and in touch
blessings of earth on the sow, and the sow
began remembering all down her thick length,
from the earthen snout all the way
through the fodder and slops to the spiritual curl of the tail,
from the hard spininess spiked out from the spine
down through the great broken heart
to the sheer blue milken dreaminess spurting and shuddering
from the fourteen teats into the fourteen mouths sucking and blowing beneath them:
the long, perfect loveliness of sow.

Music: St. Francis Preaching to the Birds – Franz Liszt (performed by Brandon Hawksley)

Thorn

On By Renee Yann, RSMIn Conversion, Cross, Discipleship, holiness, spirituality, sufferingLeave a comment

Fourteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time
July 7, 2024

Today’s Readings:

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/070724.cfm

That I, Paul, might not become too elated,
because of the abundance of the revelations,
a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan,
to beat me, to keep me from being too elated.
Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me,
but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,
for power is made perfect in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 13:6-9

Two millennia of believers have speculated about Paul’s “thorn”. Was it a bad hip, sciatica, or maybe eczema? And why didn’t he just come right out and tell us what it was?

Such useless speculation may make us miss the point of this powerful passage. Paul was immensely graced by God to the point that he could easily have become proud. Although he begged for the “thorn” to leave him, he received it as a gift. That gift allowed Paul to give not only his strengths to God’s service, but also his weaknesses.

Today, in God’s Lavish Mercy:

Do you have a little “thorn” somewhere that bothers and distracts you from full trust in God? Maybe an inability to forgive, an excessive need for control, an uncharitable judgment, a fear of change, an intolerance toward certain personalities, a fascination with personal achievements?

God invites us to transform these “thorns” into blessings by giving them to the Divine Energy Who calls us to love fiercely like Paul did.

Quote:

“The thorn from the bush
one has planted,
nourished and pruned
pricks more deeply
and draws more blood.”

Maya Angelou

Music: A Thorn Tree – from Trinity UMC in Montpelier, VT

I came upon this lovely rendition by accident, and I thought it was beautiful in its simplicity.

Cross

On By Renee Yann, RSMIn Cross, Faith, Jesus, Love, spirituality, suffering2 Comments

Solemnity of Most Sacred Heart of Jesus
June 7, 2024

Today’s Readings:

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/060724.cfm

When Israel was a child I loved him,
out of Egypt I called my son.
Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk,
who took them in my arms;
I drew them with human cords,
with bands of love;
I fostered them like one
who raises an infant to his cheeks;
Yet, though I stooped to feed my child,
they did not know that I was their healer.
Hosea 11:1;3-4

Our readings today invite us to pray with the profoundly beautiful image of the Sacred Heart, the mystery of divinity and humanity united in the person of Jesus. The tenderness of Hosea flows into Paul’s description of the “inscrutable riches of Christ”. These passages culminate in John’s depiction of the unbroken body of Jesus on the Cross.

Together, these readings present us with the mystery of love fulfilled by sacrifice, a reality we may resist in our lives, but one that is nevertheless true. All love entails sacrifice. Jesus loves us completely and sacrificed his Sacred Heart completely for that Love.

Today, in God’s Lavish Mercy:

We pray to grow in our understanding of the Cross and of the mystery of Love as revealed to us in the Sacred Heart.

Poetry: To the Sacred Heart of Jesus – Thérèse of Lisieux, translated by Donald Kinney, OCD

At the holy sepulchre, Mary Magdalene,
Searching for her Jesus, stooped down in tears.
The angels wanted to console her sorrow,
But nothing could calm her grief.
Bright angels, it was not you
Whom this fervent soul came searching for.
She wanted to see the Lord of the Angels,
To take him in her arms, to carry him far away.
Close by the tomb, the last one to stay,
She had come well before dawn.
Her God also came, veiling his light.
Mary could not vanquish him in love!
Showing her at first his Blessed Face,
Soon just one word sprang from his Heart,
Whispering the sweet name of: Mary,
Jesus gave her back her peace, her happinesss.
O my God, one day, like Mary Magdalene,
I wanted to see you and come close to you.
I looked down over the immense plain
Where I sought the Master and King,
And I cried, seeing the pure wave,
The starry azure, the flower, and the bird.
“Bright nature, if I do not see God,
You are nothing to me but a vast tomb.”
I need a heart burning with tenderness
Who will be my support forever,
Who loves everything in me, even my weakness…
And who never leaves me day or night.”
I could find no creature
Who could always love me and never die.
I must have a God who takes on my nature
And becomes my brother and is able to suffer!
You heard me, only Friend whom I love.
To ravish my heart, you became man.
You shed your blood, what a supreme mystery!…
And you still live for me on the Altar.
If I cannot see the brilliance of your Face
Or hear your sweet voice,
O my God, I can live by your grace,
I can rest on your Sacred Heart!
O Heart of Jesus, treasure of tenderness,
You Yourself are my happiness, my only hope.
You who knew how to charm my tender youth,
Stay near me till the last night.
Lord, to you alone I’ve given my life,
And all my desires are well known to you.
It’s in your ever-infinite goodness
That I want to lose myself, O Heart of Jesus!
Ah! I know well all our righteousness
Is worthless in your sight.
To give value to my sacrifices,
I want to cast them into your Divine Heart.
You did not find your angels without blemish.
In the midst of lightning you gave your law!…
I hide myself in your Sacred Heart, Jesus.
I do not fear, my virtue is You!…
To be able to gaze on your glory,
I know we have to pass through fire.
So I, for my purgatory,
Choose your burning love, O heart of my God!
On leaving this life, my exiled soul
Would like to make an act of pure love,
And then, flying away to Heaven, its Homeland,
Enter straightaway into your Heart.

Music: Only You – Michael Zabrocki